By Michele Dargan

It’s pretty sad when the only thing I like about a soap is the opening theme song.

Yes sireeeee.

I loved hearing the OLTL opening theme song – sung with the words – for those three days of the musical.

Each day the song was performed by different singers – one day it was sung by Kassie DePaiva (Blair) who has a beautiful voice.

And – I think Tuesday – the opening theme was from the late 1980’s sung by Peabo Bryson.

[NOTE: I later found out that it was Mark Lawson (Brody) who sang Tuesday’s theme song – and HUGE KUDOS to him….To me, he sounded just like Peabo Bryson!]

They didn’t use the 80’s photos, of course.

Does anyone know the reason why they would use that theme song for three days and then revert back?

I don’t know why…But I will say that it was comforting….comforting because it made me think of the good old days of OLTL.

Ah yes….The 80’s…when the storylines and writing were still good.

Sad it’s come to this…..

I’ve already blogged about the hot mess of the three-day musical fiasco.

Lots of fast forwarding for me on those days.

As far as I’m concerned, the only good things to come out of that musical are seeing Brody (Mark Lawson) in his dress whites

And having Markko (Jason Tam) FINALLY discover the awful truth about Langston cheating on him with that low-life Ford.

THAT is another one of those storylines – like GH’s Liz cheating on Lucky with Nikolas – that went on way too long!

Oh, yeah….I loved when Markko slugged Ford. Now THAT was good!

And, judging by the previews, OLTL isn’t getting better any time soon…..

Natalie and Brody getting drunk and sleeping together?????

It looks like that will happen today.

Of course, Jessica will regain her memory and John will tell Natalie he wants her back…AND Nat and Brody will have THIS big secret…

Not good, since I like both couples and, of course, they’re being ruined.

Why is it that everyone on OLTL jumps into bed with the first available body when they get upset?

Everyone wants good drama.

But gratuitous sex is insulting to the fans and ruins the crediblity of good characters.

By Michele Dargan

First off, let me say that OLTL has always been my favorite soap opera – always!

But over the past month or two – and I don’t really know how to say this delicately – it’s been one big hot mess!

I am not invested in why any of these characters are doing what they’re doing.

And isn’t that the key ingredient of a good soap?

I’m just saying….

I mean, really. Can anyone tell me ONE storyline on OLTL that is even remotely interesting??

Even the (faux) baby reveal was a letdown – and it just keeps getting worse.

Everybody on earth knew how Stacy (Crystal Hunt) was going to die thanks to the infinite spoilers on the internet…and btw, I try to avoid spoilers at all costs, but there was no dodging that one.

Stacy Morasco (Crystal Hunt) tries to reach her baby before falling through the ice. Photo: Donna Svennevik/ABC

But the drama surrounding the aftermath is really a yawner.

I must say that the writers finally humanized Stacy – right before they killed her off!

That happens so often in soaps….they write a character that is virtually unredeemable and then make the viewers like the character before killing them off.

I did like the fact that Stacy and Gigi (Farah Fath) got their sisterly bond back during the birth of Stacy’s baby.

Gigi, Stacy and the Sierra Rose after the birth. Photo: Keysha McGrady/ABC

And then – poof – Stacy’s dead!

Although is anybody REALLY dead on a soap? Remember, Kim’s boots were gone…

Scott Clifton as Schyler has given some really good performances as he struggled with the realization that he wants to be a father to Sierra Rose.

Now I hear Clifton’s leaving the show. Big loss if that’s true.

I guess that means that maybe Oliver Fish (Scott Evans) finally opens the DNA envelope and realizes that HE is really the father….Just a guess.

Another big loss is Daphnee Duplaix as Rachel. Word is that she’s been let go from the show. She has been a great addition to the show as Nora’s daughter. The onscreen mother/daughter relationship between her and Hillary B. Smith as Nora has been wonderful, not to mention the chem between Duplaix and Terrell Tilford as the luscious Dr. Greg Evans. One thing for sure: Tilford better be staying….I’ve loved watching the evolution of his character.

The whole thing with Jessica almost being raped by her “father” Mitch Laurence (Roscoe Born) AFTER he zapped her memory with electroshock treatments….That could possibly be the WORST storyline in history. Totally repulsive!

Is is me or does it seem that each time Mitch returns to Llanview from the dead that he becomes more and more evil???

Now they have Allison Perkins thrown into the mix lurking around and getting ready to do the work of “The Messenger.”

How many times can they recycle that premise???

And let’s not even get into the fact that now Jessica (Bree Williamson) thinks she’s back in high school pursuing Christian Vega (David Fumero), who’s now a teacher.

Jessica and Christian. Photo: Heidi Gutman/ABC

The only partially saving grace is Williamson’s performances….she is absolutley amazing with every facet of Jessica that she has taken on (Jess/Bess/Tess)…She physically transforms herself into the separate characters. And now she has physically transformed herself back to a high school age girl. Suffice it to say, Williamson is uber talented!

Having said all that, the storyline itself is hard to watch, given the fact that they have essentially broken up Brody (Mark Lawson) and Jessica.

Lawson has also been giving it his all these past few weeks (Love him!) and it’s difficult to watch Brody stand by while Jessica chases after her high school crush.

I think the writers are trying to be cute….but it’s not working for me.

Free Jessica and Brody!!!

Todd (Trevor St. John) and Tea (Florencia Lozano) need to be reunited, because they’re just not as interesting apart from one another.
Now that everyone knows about Dani being Todd’s daughter, why not put the family together and explore the possibilities?

I HATE the fact that Viki and Charlie are splitting….After all these years, Viki FINALLY found love again for what…..five minutes??? Viki (Erika Slezak) and Charlie (Brian Kerwin) are so good together. They need to stay together. Have at least ONE couple on that show that stays together – PLEASE!

And what the heck happened to Moe (John Rue) and Noelle (January LaVoy) ? They were two of the best things to hit that show in a long time. They provided the voice of reason as well as some levity to the show. We need them back, pronto!

Then there’s the Langston cheating on Markko storyline – How much do ya hate THAT one!

Being a Larkko fan, that s/l is the pits!

It’s so predictable….Langston hooks up with a player who’s just using her for sex.

And now they bring in Cole’s study pal, who just happens to be the jilted lover of said player. It may be remotely interesting if she decides to seek revenge on him….

As far as John (Michael Easton) and Natalie (Melissa Archer) getting back together….I love those two together and have always been a big Jolie fan….BUT I’m not liking HOW they’re getting them back together. The storyline is just sleazy with Natalie having just lost Jared. And John and Natalie, to me, are above that. Especially since Marty (Susan Haskell) is now preggers.

Which brings me to the top of the heap of reasons WHY I’m not liking OLTL….the Kim marrying Clint storyline. It’s totally nauseating….really.

Multi-billionaire Clint Buchanan (Jerry ver Dorn) marrying an ex-stripper?? Seriously???

Is this the best they can do?

Word on the internet is that Amanda Setton, who plays Kim Andrews, chose not to renew her contract. So she will be leaving the show.

But I still don’t get why we’re even watching this storyline.

The only reason that I can think of (yet another recycled storyline) is they are trying to recreate the Asa/Renee storyline in the sense that Renee was an ex-madam.

Is this really why they destroyed Clint and Nora’s marriage?

Oh no, that’s right.

They had Nora cheat on Clint with his brother and her former husband Bo (Robert S. Woods) in order to reunite Bo and Nora, whom I absolutely adore.

Clint, Nora and Bo. Photo: ABC

What I don’t adore is the way they got them back together….No matter now…water under the bridge.

Bo and Nora ARE iconic and so much fun to watch.

Trouble is…..where the hell are they?

Since Bo and Nora got back together, we hardly see them at all. They’re only used to prop the other storylines!

As an aside, Hillary B. Smith has established a charity to benefit pet owners who cannot afford medical care for thier beloved animals. The Willie-Coppee Fund is auctioning some of her memorabilia to benefit that cause. Click here to find out more.

So here’s what we need to do on OLTL….

Let’s push this baby daddy story to the side…..get Jessica and Brody back together…reunite Viki and Charlie…bring back Moe and Noelle…

And PLEASE give Bo and Nora a frontburner, sink-your-teeth-into storyline that we can care about!

By Michele Dargan

One thing that I’m liking on One Life To Live these days is new BFF’s John McBain and Brody Lovett.

I’ve taken notice of the way, Michael Easton as the dashing Det. McBain and Mark Lawson as Navy Seal-turned-police-officer Brody Lovett have had some really strong performances together.

Easton and Lawson play very well off each other and, as far as I’m concerned, command the viewer’s attention.

Check out these scenes as McBain explains to Lovett about the diabolical Mitch Laurence.

The chemistry of the two cops working together has been evident to me since Brody joined the police force and began working with the seasoned veteran cop, McBain.

This video shows the aftermath of Laurence’s stabbing as Brody springs into action, unaware as to exactly what happened and sensing there’s more to the story….

And how about the video below where Brody interviews Laurence in the hospital?

It was great the way Brody remains basically unfazed while he questions arch-villain Mitch Laurence following his “self-inflicted stabbing as Laurence goes through all his machinations.

Roscoe Born as Mitch is so good at playing a psycho, isn’t he?

How about when he’s SCREAMING at Brody to search McBain for the letter opener…And when Brody doesn’t move, Mitch asks why he’s not searching McBain?

But before Brody can answer, McBain says sooo matter-of-factly, “Because you’re in-sane and everybody knows it!”
How True!

Yes, John is compromising everything he stands for as a cop to cover up Natalie stabbing Mitch….

But, you see, that’s what I love about McBain. He’s so loyal to a fault and he will do anything to protect those he cares about – even if it means he goes down for it.

Frankly, I can see the writing on the wall….or, at least I think I can.

I’m thinking the writers are going to reunite John and Natalie for round 3 of Jolie.

Just a guess.

And here’s another guess.

Marty’s been conspicuously absent from John’s life lately…and I’m thinking they may be bringing back Thorsten Kaye as Patrick Thornhart, which would reunite him with real-life wife Susan Haskell as Marty.

Kaye is not moving with All My Children to California. And they never found Patrick’s body in Ireland….

Getting back to John and Brody….

Did you notice – at the end – John tells Brody to make a full report of everything that was said – keeping Brody clean from the entire situation.

Again, McBain puts himself on the line to protect everyone else.

You see, I always go for the “good guys.” I never really quite got the concept of falling for the bad boys and evil doers….just not my thing.

So, in my book, good guys finish first.

Which puts McBain and Lovett at the top of the list.